Monday, April 28, 2008

Marriage quotes

Before Marriage

After Marriage

There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got
married...and then it was too late!"

"The longest sentence you can form with two words is: I do."HL Mencken

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love;
after marriage, it is self-defense.

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year
married man looks happy, we wonder why.

There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her.
They got married, and now he is going through hell.

A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with
mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to
justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really
attractive. -- Bruce Friedman

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. -- Marvin Kitman

A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.

A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.

Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband: "Nothing."
Wife: "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband: "I was looking for the expiration date."

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been
extracted. -- Helen Rowland

Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she
can never catch him at it.

Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able
to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. -- Cass Daley

Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute.

Marriage is a rest period between romances.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener!

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. David Bissonette

A wife is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.

Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it. -- Baskins

All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't." Patrick Murray



Maternity leave would last two years... With full pay.

There would be a cure for stretch marks.

Natural childbirth would become obsolete.

Morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem.

All methods of birth control would be 100% effective.

Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.

Men would be eager to talk about commitment.

They wouldn't think twins were so cute.

Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00 PM

Briefcases would be used as diaper bags.

Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes.

They'd stay in bed during the entire pregnancy.

Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entrees.
Women would rule the world!!